Post by Ekaterina on May 27, 2006 1:06:55 GMT -5
After months of traveling, keeping on the move constantly, she was completely caught off guard in finding a place to where she could settle. Still unsure of her surroundings, and those within it, although slowly, as time passed, friends were being made. More acquaintance than friends, but the closest she's ever come to title one as such.
It isn't that she's arrogant, just excessively careful. Unsure as to the lands that she now claimed as home, and the people who lived within them.
Considered young by most, yet she's lived a thousand life times, in her heart and mind. A mortal, not one who harbors special powers or abilities, as it seemed many of those within these lands could lay claim. In many ways, that in and of itself was a bit intimidating. Kat didn't like being intimidated, and she despised those who made her feel insecure.
Her chosen way of life, demanded that she always be a loner. Never get too close to anyone, for it's usually those ones who paid the ultimate price when revenge was to be played out for actions of the past.
It was much easier to remain cold, distant, and guarded toward all she met. However, she did find a few here, made it easy to lower that guard for a moment, and enjoy what life had to offer. This was a rarity for her, and left her somewhat puzzled.
By the most part, she could be found drifting through the thickness of the forest. It was here she felt free and unrestricted. One who lived within the realms of shadows, instead of light as the masses did. Not in the sense of the inability to be exposed to the brilliance of the sun, and enjoy it's warmth upon her flesh, but in the sense, that it was her chosen path of existence. At other times, the sandy beaches would hold their draw. Especially at sunset. Not a hopeless romantic in anyway, she could enjoy and appreciate the splendor of natures beauty without all of that.
Sometimes we make choices that hold repercussions, and this was the price in which she paid. Hands to be eternally stained by blood, even if not visualized, she knew it was there. Heartless and cold, because she had to be. Compassion could cause hesitation, and this was something she couldn't afford in her chosen trade.
In this, is why she's never had what so many other young woman her age have, some many times over. Never had she held a relationship with anyone, beyond a simple evening meal, or a stroll through a garden. She could honestly count how many times she's been kissed, truly kissed, with two digits. Sadly, those kisses ended abruptly, as she drove her blade through the heart of the one in which it was shared.
Any means necessary to achieve her task, she could be quite the actress when the situation demanded. It was these things she had to live with on a daily basis. No matter how hard you try to put the past behind you, it has a way of surfacing and haunting your every thought, ebbing into your dreams, which you would sit up from coated in sweat, with your heart racing.
She served one purpose in life, to execute the deeds others wished not to be associated with. Many could keep a clear conscious, and consider their hands clean, for she was the weapon they used to maintain their innocents or alleviate them of guilt. If ever caught, there'd be no one to come to her aide, to stand on her behalf, or to assist her. She was expendable, replaceable easily, or so they would think. If she ever found any who turned against her, or sold her out to save their own hide, it would be then that their nightmares would begin, and she would be the entire source of it's being lived out.
In a time of peace, something else she was unaccustomed to, she simply took up space, at least that's how she felt. No purpose did she serve otherwise. A flesh and blood killing machine is what she was. She tolerated not the played out dramas of life, she found those who encompassed themselves in such ways, to be weak and useless. Those who flaunted themselves to achieve advancement, were viewed as those who deserved not to intake breath. Hard it was to stay her hand, when she witnessed such events.
A challenge she presented, perhaps, in being able to get close to, to get to know her on a personal level. Though she had good reason, for the past had forged and molded her into what she is today. It's hard to break down a wall that's taken years to build. A strong hold rested about her, it's walls impenetrable, so far. Would anyone be willing to attempt to try? Only time will tell, as life moves on.