Schleswig-Holstein

[Ekaterina]

Sometimes we make choices that hold repercussions, and this was the price in which she paid. Hands to be eternally stained by blood, even if not visualized, she knew it was there.

Heartless and cold, because she had to be. Compassion could cause hesitation, and this was something she couldn't afford in her chosen trade.

In this, is why she's never had what so many other young woman her age have, some many times over. Never had she held a relationship with anyone, beyond a simple evening meal, or a stroll through a garden. She could honestly count how many times she's been kissed, truly kissed, with two digits. Sadly, those kisses ended abruptly, as she drove her blade through the heart of the one in which it was shared.

Any means necessary to achieve her task, she could be quite the actress when the situation demanded. It was these things she had to live with on a daily basis. No matter how hard you try to put the past behind you, it has a way of surfacing and haunting your every thought, ebbing into your dreams, which you would sit up from coated in sweat, with your heart racing.

She served one purpose in life, to execute the deeds others wished not to be associated with. Many could keep a clear conscious, and consider their hands clean, for she was the weapon they used to maintain their innocents or alleviate them of guilt. If ever caught, there'd be no one to come to her aide, to stand on her behalf, or to assist her.

She was expendable, replaceable easily, or so they would think. If she ever found any who turned against her, or sold her out to save their own hide, it would be then that their nightmares would begin, and she would be the entire source of it's being lived out.

In a time of peace, something else she was unaccustomed to, she simply took up space, at least that's how she felt. No purpose did she serve otherwise. A flesh and blood killing machine is what she was. She tolerated not the played out dramas of life, she found those who encompassed themselves in such ways, to be weak and useless. Those who flaunted themselves to achieve advancement, were viewed as those who deserved not to intake breath. Hard it was to stay her hand, when she witnessed such events.

A challenge she presented, perhaps, in being able to get close to, to get to know her on a personal level. Though she had good reason, for the past had forged and molded her into what she is today. It's hard to break down a wall that's taken years to build. A strong hold rested about her, it's walls impenetrable.

So far.

Would anyone be willing to attempt to try?

Only time will tell, as life moves on.

[Ekaterina]

"The Tests..." He shuddered, having memories flood back to him in a rush, very unpleasant memories. "The Tests take that which one least expects. Before the Tests, I was a strong, handsome youth with a fiancee. I was talented in my Art, respected and loved. When I left to take the Test, I knew it would be difficult and that death was the price of failure--but I was arrogant, figuring that I was talented enough to pass easily. I do not remember much of the Test, only the very end, in which I cast a spell that I could not have possibly known, drawing more power in one moment that I knew myself capable. The Test ended for me in a white hot flash, and I was left at the very edge of death, and blinded by the experience. Although deadly if failed, the other magi do everything they can to keep a novice alive if he should pass, and they were able to repair my eyesight. When I awoke, I found myself as you saw me when I dropped the illusion. Needless to say, thinking I had been cursed, my family disowned me, and my fiancee left me."

"So it's not the power you hold within that changed you, but a spell that's of your own creation?" Wishing to clarify that which he spoke of. A slow shake of her head. "Why is it in the most dire time of need, those who you once counted on are always the first to turn and flee?" Head to rest against the back of the sofa once more, while those pale eyes of her's continued to remain fixed upon him. "Too many put stock in the wrong things, when it comes to the way they treat others."

He shrugged, "I wasn't even certain if it was a spell, I don't know where the words came from and even as I cast it, I found myself confused at how I knew what to do." He could not hold her gaze. He was not happy with the fact that the pain of telling of this story was just as fresh as the pain of living it and it showed on his face. "I don't blame them, my family never took my magic very seriously, and we had quarreled over my taking the Tests. I, in my arrogance, insisted that passing it was easy and journeyed to take it anyway. My fiancee....on the other hand, was devastated when I returned. From her reaction, it was as if I had died." A tear ran down his cheek.

At that moment she noticed the tear, two emotions welled within her. One of compassion towards the man sitting before her, and that of anger in the way he was received by those once close. A shift of seating, and upon her knees she'd rise from the position she had been settled in. One hand to rest upon skirt covered thigh, to leverage her body as she leaned forward. Calloused surface of index and middle finger to brush the tear from his cheek. "Quite a price you indeed did pay to follow your dream." Softly whispered. Head tilted as pale eyes followed the trail of liquid saline upon paled flesh.

"My opinion, is that which you've endured has been nothing more than a succession of tests. It ended not with what you call a near failure." Slowly crystalline blues would rise to meet earthen hues. "They have continued, pushing you to be the best at what you do, and in whom you are. Perhaps what you created that day, came from deep within, as a sign to the greatness you're able to achieve. It was just at that point and time, you were not ready to unleash what is still harnessed within the very core of your being."

[Ekaterina]

Her profound words pierced the pain of having to tell her of the lowest point in his life, his gaze lifted back up to regard her, a hand coming to close over the one on her cheek. A soft smile would find its way onto the face of the forlorn magic-user, whispering, "You are, as always, far too kind to me, Katerina." The other hand reached out to caress her cheek. "I have carried that weight for a long time. Thank you for lightening the load, rather than making it heavier." He tilted his head slightly, peering into her eyes, "I wonder, my dear Katerina, what weights do you carry?"

Head tipped slightly towards the light caress of his hand. "I've no reason to be an added burden to you Xander. I honestly believe that we are to be the offered shoulder to one another, in a time of need, when no other is available." Touch more of a smile to form. "As for mine?" Pale blues held earthen hues for a moment, then lowered for a brief moment. "My weights are not that of guilt, nor remorse for anything I've done in my life. Many don't understand this, and it's that which weights heavily upon me." Icy shards to slowly rise to meet his gaze again. "It was an action of vengeance that had me head down the path of my choosing. In that act, I found I easily held skills I had no idea I possessed. I was borne into a family of wealth and prestige, even if on what was considered a lower scale than some." Free hand lifted, a slight wave to the right with a twist of wrist. "I was being molded into being what was expected of me in society. A proper lady, a courtier to draw the eye of a noble lord, or that of royalty. It would be due to the dreams of my parents, that I would find myself in quite a position." Moments pause, focus would shift towards the burning embers at the base of flames.

Dropping his hand, he moved a bit closer. The interest both in her and her story was apparent in his eyes. "That comes as no surprise, you have the look and elegance of a noblewoman about you, Katerina." How often had he thought that when he directed his gaze in her direction? He could not think of a day that he laid eyes on her that he had not thought that there was noble blood in her, from her proud bearing and behavior. He knew himself well, and one of the reasons he found himself so entranced by her was her pride. He continued, having lost his train of thought, "But you were not the type meant to be caged by the strictures of such a society, I think."

[Ekaterina]

Softly chuckles. "A rebel, what my father used to call me. Especially during those times, when I traded skirts for pants, and was out wrestling with the boys my age, instead of fluttering lashes and acting coy." Slowly her head turned, as did those crystalline blues from the fire, to rest upon his features. It was then her gaze met his. "These actions continued through my teens, then into the age when my mother thought I should have been tending to more courtly matters. Especially on trying to impress this Lord. Of course I toyed with the situation, more so the man all wanted me with, except for my father. He was the only opposition, and in that, I was kept safe from my mother's and this man's want. Herr Vlaken was not a man who took no for an answer, and became angry at my father for his refusal."

As the story unfolded, the smile slowly disappeared and a hardness took over those youthful features and icy shards. "My father paid for this, dearly. My mother and Herr Vlaken conspired to take my father's life. My mother had much to gain in this, being the mother-in-law of a wealthy Lord, and his promise to see that she lived like a Queen as long as he got me. Their one mistake, was during my father's funeral, while I hid away to be alone with my grief, I overheard them discussing what happened, and how."

Again she'd pause to gain control over the rage the remembrance brought back to life. Feeling it swell in her breast, with the same intense heat of anger, as she did that very night.

He listened intently, but kept silent as she spoke. As she finished, "It would seem as though you were betrayed by those closest to you as well." He had noticed her smile fade, and that came as no surprise, seeing that she was recounting something extremely unpleasant.

What did surprise him, was the hardness of her gaze now. The flecks of ice blue in her eyes had solidified into a hard sheet, a cold barrier that he found nearly impossible to penetrate. It struck him suddenly that like his own eyes, this terrible hardness had been the last thing that some had seen before departing from this realm. How terribly alike, we are. He thought to himself. In a breathy whisper, "Go on, if you will."

[Ekaterina]

"I wasted no time in plotting my father's revenge...." Refocusing upon his features, it helped to keep the full brunt of that being relived at bay. "...The very next day, I sought out an alchemist who lived deep in the forest. It was from her I found the weapon I'd use against my mother. A poison that had no scent, nor taste. I began using it to taint her meal that very evening. It was a slow agonizing death for her, as her health began to fail and pain became a daily occurrence. None questioned her deteriorating health, thinking my father's death had effected her greatly."

" I convinced the Lord it was improper to marry immediately after such a tragic event, socially. Yet I continued to toy with his affections, leading him to believe I was vulnerable and in need of his strength due to my loss, and the ill health of my mother. He moved us into his home, hired the best physicians in the lands to tend to her needs. Of course they failed horribly, and my mother did eventually die."

The way this was spoken, a coldness touched her tone, no remorse of any kind, nor was there an indication of relief. "The Lord was becoming frustrated, and when my mother passed, he insisted that we should wed, because it was not proper for me to be alone. That was when I drew my plan to a conclusion. I had told him in secret, I wished for us to meet out under the stars, that I needed to be with him in the way a woman is with a man, to help ease my pain of such great loss."

"It wasn't hard to convince, nor was it to get him to keep this meeting between the two of us. It wouldn't look good socially for us to be seen together in such a close manner. He made his excuses for taking off that night, a last minute meeting had been called on a business matter he had to attend to right away. I was seen retiring to my chambers, and locking myself in. "

"Using a passage he had told me of the night prior, I secreted away from the manor to meet him in an abandoned cabin deep within the woods. It would be there he would meet his fate. Our first and only kiss, ended with a dagger driven deep into his heart. "

"I returned to the manor undetected, it would be several days before his body was found. Due to his excuse for being away that night, it was considered a business dealing had gone bad, and he was murdered for it."

"In the end, and this was not my intent, nor did I realize what I had to gain, I inherited not only the estate of my family, but his as well. His intent to marry me was strong, so much so he had already altered his will and placed my name upon his holdings. An agreement made between my mother and he. I'm sure he intended to have my name removed once the wedding was over. He was a shrewd man, no honor in his words. It ended to my benefit, so you see, what I do is not because of a need for money."

Small shrug of shoulders. "It was after that, when I realized how easy it was, and offered my services to those who wished vengeance, at first. A ghost I had become by night, a noble woman grieving by day. "

"Soon if the price was right, I would take the job, not caring for the reason. Most contact me via a referral, those seeking other's like me, to tend to a job they wanted not to dirty their hands with. Notes are left in various places in the forest, along with a bag of gold. Nothing more than a name, and the area in which the individual could be found. If I accepted, they'd know when they learned of this person's death."

Again her gaze would meet his in full. "This is the weight I bear, Xander. A life I openly chose."